"Well, ah, this is not the, a man can't see, but aw listen here, it ain't that it really ain't, Ole Garner, what I mean is, it ain't a weakness, the kind of weakness I can fight 'cause 'cause something is happening to me, that girl is doing it, I know you think I never like her nohow, but she is doing it to me. Fixing me. Sethe, she's fixed me and I can't break it."(149)
While reading this blog, I realized that I could relate to this a lot. I could relate to this because this is what I am going through and what I have been going through. At points through out my school years, there is a point of weakness that just hits and makes it feel as though there is a way out. At the moment that it is happening though, it seems as though this weakness is just a road block that is testing how strong you are. The idea of one's weakness comes up a lot through out the text. Sometimes others may try to help and when you do deny their help, it may come out to others and look like they aren't a part of your life anymore. It hurts a lot, to know that sometimes that is how they perceive it to be, but the main part that is even worse, is not knowing whether or not, it is helping you be stronger or killing you slowly. You want to break this weakness that your own self has created, but along the way you know that you are accidently pushing people away, that you don't mean to push away or hurt. Those closest to you, may not see exactly what you are going through, they ask, they look at you, they analyze you and your actions, but the number one thing that they can forget so easily is that, it isn't always about them, it's that the weakness is eating you away, everything comes back to you. Past memories, feelings, actions, that are all included and have made a new problem where one person seems to bring it all back at a higher level. We often think of this person as though they weren't any harm to us, but as we are weak, we see that although they may be helping us, they are also bringing down a wall. That wall that comes down is what has our weakness appear, but it isn't their fault, it is that moment that you have to overcome those challenges.
When one has someone or even more than one person to rely to, the trust is so strong that they don't always realize that you are broken inside. By putting on a smile and pretending that everything is okay, gets you through the day and it builds up more and more each day that it makes it something that becomes normal, but at the same time, something that you feel over and over. The people that we trust, we have let in, we have let them in and have no regrets at all. The regrets that other may see is that it looks like you are letting go, letting go of those that are of such importance to your life, which isn't the case at all. Instead, it is the opposite, its that you are letting go of your past trying to overcome it and create a public figure where you are not held back by others.
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